Navigating Adolescent Anxiety: A Parent-Child Survival Guide

When a child doesn’t know what to do with their anxious feelings, those feelings often grow.

Adolescence is a time of major change—hormones, friendships, school pressure, and the looming question of the future. For many kids, it’s also the time when anxiety becomes more than just a passing worry. As a parent, watching your child struggle with anxiety can feel like standing outside in a storm, desperately wishing you could shield them from the downpour. The good news? You don’t have to stand there alone. Anxiety isn’t something that can—or should—be managed in isolation. Here’s how to tackle adolescent anxiety as a team, with strategies that prioritize communication, resilience, and support.

Turn “How Was Your Day?” Into a Real Conversation

We’ve all been there: You ask, “How was your day?” and get the dreaded one-word response—“Fine.” When anxiety is in the mix, this kind of shutdown can feel even more frustrating. But instead of expecting deep conversations on demand, try open-ended questions: “What was something that made you laugh today?” or “What was the toughest moment?” Keep it casual, no pressure. Sometimes, the best talks happen when you're driving or folding laundry together—moments when eye contact isn’t a requirement and the conversation can flow without feeling like an interrogation.

Model Calm, Even When You Don’t Feel It

Children learn how to handle stress by watching how you respond to it, so being a positive role model means showing them that challenges can be met with resilience rather than fear. If your job is causing constant anxiety, consider making a change—not just for your own well-being, but to show them that it’s okay to pivot when something isn’t working. Instead of letting fear hold you back, embrace the opportunity to experience discomfort as part of growth, proving that new beginnings, though unsettling, can lead to something better. Moving through that uncertainty with confidence teaches your child that anxiety doesn’t have to be a roadblock—it can be the start of something great.

Help Them Identify Anxiety for What It Is

Anxiety has a sneaky way of disguising itself. Sometimes, it looks like irritability or an upset stomach. Other times, it’s procrastination or perfectionism. Help your child recognize when anxiety is at play. Say things like, “It seems like you’re really worried about that test—do you think anxiety is making it feel even bigger than it is?” This shifts the focus from “something is wrong with me” to “this is just anxiety doing its thing.” When kids can name what they’re feeling, it becomes less overwhelming and more manageable.

Validate Without Fixing

One of the hardest things about parenting an anxious child is resisting the urge to fix things. When they say, “I’m so nervous about my presentation,” it’s tempting to jump in with “You’ll be fine!” or “Just practice more!” Instead, try validation first: “I get why you’re feeling that way. Presenting in front of people can be tough.” Let them sit with their emotions before brainstorming solutions together. Knowing that their feelings are heard and respected makes it easier for them to manage those feelings without pushing them away.

Teach Anxiety Exit Strategies

Anxiety thrives in uncertainty. When a child doesn’t know what to do with their anxious feelings, those feelings often grow. Work together to create an exit strategy for stressful moments—whether it’s a breathing exercise, a mantra, or a specific action plan. For example, if social anxiety spikes at lunch, discuss options ahead of time: sitting with a friend, texting you if needed, or taking a few deep breaths before walking into the cafeteria. Having a game plan reduces the fear of the unknown.

Normalize Getting Help

There’s no shame in needing support, whether that means talking to a school counselor, therapist, or even a trusted family member. The way you frame professional help matters. If you speak about therapy as a normal, proactive step—like going to the doctor for a check-up—it removes the stigma. And if you, as a parent, have ever sought help for stress or anxiety, sharing that experience (in an age-appropriate way) can show your child that seeking support is a sign of strength, not weakness.Anxiety isn’t something that disappears overnight, and it doesn’t have to be fought alone. When parents and kids approach it as a team, it becomes something to navigate together rather than something to fear. By fostering open communication, modeling calm, and teaching real coping strategies, you help your child develop resilience that will serve them long beyond adolescence. They won’t always get it right, and neither will you—but what matters most is showing up, listening, and reminding them that no matter what, they’re not in this alone.

Discover how Salem Family Resources can empower your family with enriching programs and support services designed to help children thrive and families flourish.

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Emily Graham is the creator of Mighty Moms. She believes being a mom is one of the hardest jobs around and wanted to create a support system for moms from all walks of life. On her site, she offers a wide range of info tailored for busy moms -- from how to reduce stress to creative ways to spend time together as a family. MightyMoms.net